The Mayor of Shawano, Lorna Marquardt, is a Racist.  Some say that she is a clone from pre-Civil War plantation days in the 1850s, when a mad scientist was experimenting by trying to combine the DNA cells from an exhumed southern belle and an orangutan. That combination sounds rather logical considering her actions and the way she looks.  Lorna the Racist also has help from certain law enforcement officials who are trying to make a name for themselves before the elections in November.  Whenever and wherever she can cause trouble for SIST and its businesses she makes it her business to do so.

The weekend of August 4-6, 2006, USA International Raceway hosted the Snap-on Stars of Karting National go-kart race. This last weekend, August 11-13, 2006, the Mielke Theater hosted the Shawano Folk Music Festival. Both events had overflow parking problems, and the response to those parking problems by the local officials was as different as poison is from pudding.  Let’s look at the Stars of Karting race at USA International Raceway first and then compare the treatment the raceway received at the hand of Lorna the Racist as opposed to the treatment the Mielke received.  Lorna the Racist, of course, was nowhere to be seen near the raceway when the Stars’ race was being held, but her Racist tracks and tell-tale pellets were everywhere.

The Stars of Karting international race was the monster event of the summer, with hundreds of the best go-kart racers in the world fiercely competing for the Eastern Championship. Lorna the Racist was green, and she was livid.  She had to do something to disrupt the event, somehow. So, how did she manage to cause trouble?  It hardly took any time at all and one of her Gestapo police, Staber Cook, a sergeant for Shawano County, arrived.

Lorna the Racist, originally created a parking problem for the raceway last year.  The raceway was short on parking space for their national events, so SIST purchased an expensive piece of property about a mile away from the raceway to solve the overflow parking problem.  They hired a tour bus to take spectators to the events from that property.  But Lorna and the City Administrator, Jim Stadler, and the City Attorney, Tim Schmid, The Three Racists, measured the distance from the raceway to the overflow lot and then made up a new law that you can’t park over 750 feet from the original business location. The raceway was forced to use that lot for their two biggest events in 2005. 

By now you know the chain-of-command around Shawano. Like lighting a police officer was on the scene, writing them citations for using that lot on those two occasions, and the raceway had to pay the fines. Even though the raceway had set up an official administration office on that property, it didn’t mean anything to Lorna the Racist and her two complicit bedfellows.  They still said “No” to parking there.  Of course, Tim Ryan, the ‘Head Truth seeker’ for the Evil Leader and Kent Tempus, the editor, joined holy hands with Lorna the Racist in oppressing the raceway with one of their usual front page articles.

The latest oppression at the raceway was a side effect of that newly manufactured
750-foot, Lorna Law.  It was once again a parking problem at the Stars of Karting Race on Saturday, August 5th, and Sunday, August 6th, 2006.  Lorna the Racist’s wishes were fulfilled when several patrol cars went out on Saturday to cruise up and down the road in front of the raceway during the race.  Racers, their families, and team members had parked in the wayside rest area across from the raceway and on both sides of the road, completely off the asphalt.  It was obvious that the pressure from Lorna the Racist and her wolf pack was there when an official from the Shawano County Highway Department to come out to the raceway to give them trouble.  

That official, however, is a very fair and honest man who wanted to work with the raceway to help solve the parking problem.  He told the Midwest Amusement Park manager very nicely that he was getting pressure from the wolves to create trouble for the raceway. He recommended that vehicles not park along the road because it could be a potential safety issue, and an accident could happen. He suggested that the back parking lot which is just a dirt field be filled up first, and then at that point do the best that could be done with the situation at hand. 

The Shawano County official also explained to the park manager that after he leaves a couple workers from the Shawano County Highway Department would be coming to put up “No Parking” signs in front of the park.  He made it very clear that those signs were only temporary, and in order for them to be legally enforced there would have to be an official resolution passed.  He also explained that the city or county law enforcement officers could not ticket or tow vehicles because there was nothing legally wrong with parking on the sides of the road.  After the official left the park, two workers from the Shawano County Highway Department came out and put up “No Parking At Any Time” signs in front of the park on both sides of the road.

The next morning, Sunday, August 6th, it rained hard for about an hour and a half and the back lot turned to soup. When the drivers, teams, and families came to park, they filled up the wayside rest area, and then the park manager sent two cars to the back lot, not realizing that the lot was a quagmire.  Both vehicles got stuck and had to be pulled out.  So much for parking there.  Then the park manager allowed the people to park on the north side of the road, way off the asphalt.  Because all the vehicles were either in the wayside rest or on the north side of the road there was a clear, unobstructed view of the highway in front of the park.  There was nothing unsafe about the situation. 

About two o’clock on Sunday afternoon an unmarked squad car drove in front of the main gate entrance, stopped along side a small blue sports car parked on the side of the road, and the officer started taking down license numbers.  After writing down three or four license numbers the hot dog put on his red and blue back window flashers just to show off and try to intimidate the park manager who was standing at the front gate.

After he was done taking down the license numbers of the line of cars, he made a U-turn, and drove down in front of the main gate where the park manager was standing. He got out of his car. His name plate read: Staber Cook, “The Defender of the Poor and an Advocate for the Oppressed,” a Sergeant for Shawano County Law Enforcement. Cook walked over to the park manager like he owned half of the world and was negotiating on the rest, and said, “You’re going to have to make an announcement to have these cars moved.  It is not safe.” 

The park manager said, “Who said it is not safe?” Cook said, “These cars cannot be parked on the side of the road.”   The park manager said, “Look, we have done the best we could with the situation.  It rained this morning, and the back lot is mud.  Two cars just got stuck there and had to be towed out.  I have allowed the cars to park on the north side of the road so there is a clear line of sight both ways as you come out of the park. There is just nowhere else to go with the cars but to park them on the road.  What do you suggest doing with them?”

Then Cook, trying to act macho and bluff his way through, smirked, “If you’re not going to make an announcement to have these cars moved then I am going to write 23 citations.”  The park manager said, “Oh is that right.  Why don’t you talk to the Shawano County Highway Commissioner about writing those 23 citations and he will laugh right in your face.”  Cook smarted back, “Oh he will huh?”  The park manager then replied to Cook’s Gestapo attitude and said, “The Highway Commissioner told me yesterday that these No Parking signs are temporary, and they cannot be enforced until a resolution is passed.  You cannot ticket and you cannot tow until that resolution is passed. So go right ahead and write those 23 citations and the Commissioner will laugh right in your face.  And furthermore, before you start shooting off your big mouth about the law, you better learn the law first, and obviously you don’t know it.  And you can start learning the law by first learning to read. So go to school and learn to read.”

Cook looked like a deer in the middle of the road frozen in the headlights.  All his macho cockiness drained from his face like Drano clearing a clogged toilet.  He shut his mouth, tucked his tail between his legs, got into his squad car, and drove off.  He obviously knew the law full well and was trying to intimidate and oppress someone he thought was ignorant of the law.  But when the park manager threw it back in his face he knew he’d been fried - - that’s why he beat a hasty retreat.  Another good example of another Shawano Racist, under the color of law, trying to enforce Shawano Justice.  So, if you want a Racist and a back stabber for Shawano County Sheriff, be sure to vote for Staber Cook at the polls in November. 

Therefore, it is only fitting that Staber Cook the Racist is given a new name.  Just add the word “Back” for back stabber, add a “b” in Staber to get “stabber,” an “r” in Cook to get “Crook,” and his new name “Back Stabber Crook” emerges in all its glory.  How fitting.  So, whatever you do or wherever you go, never turn your back on Back Stabber Crook - you will never live to regret it.  Our Back Stabber Crook must be congratulated, however, on one important thing.  He has been very successful beyond his wildest dreams in a Mission Accomplished - creating a name for himself before the elections. So, when you see him on the street or coming out of Lorna’s office, or driving by in his unmarked car, be sure to greet him with a hearty, “Hey Back Stabber Crook, how you doing?  I’ll remember you at the polls in November.”

Now, in contrast, let’s look at a similar parking problem and how Lorna the Racist handled it.  And by the way, this has been the pattern for everyone else in Shawano for the last 50 years.  Every time there is some kind of an event that is big enough to create overflow parking, people always park along both sides of the road or roads where the event is held, and nobody says a word.  It is a normal practice to let vehicles park wherever they can park because it is good for the local economy to have events where people come and spend money. 

For example, when George Dillenberg recently had a farm equipment sale right down the road from the raceway on County Road BE, vehicles were parked on both sides of the road for two days, and nobody said a word.  When the 4th of July fireworks is going on by the airport, everybody parks anywhere and everywhere they want, and nobody says a word.  But the pattern changes whenever SIST and one of its businesses has an event.  Now it is time for Lorna the Racist to show her true colors and pick up the phone. 

But Lorna the Racist didn’t cause any trouble for the Mielke Theater this last weekend on August 11-13, when they hosted the Shawano Folk Music Festival.  It was just Milk at the Mielke, and nobody said a word.  Vehicles were parked on both sides of the County Road H and on Homewood Avenue, but nobody said a word.  On Saturday and Sunday afternoon there were more than 50 vehicles parked along those roads each day, yet nobody said a word.  Most of them were just inches off the asphalt and some were actually on the asphalt, but nobody said a word.  It was very dangerous, especially along H with vehicle doors opening into heavy traffic and people walking in the middle of the road to get to the Mielke, but nobody said a word.  Vehicles actually had to stop on the road until pedestrians got off the road, and still, nobody said a word. Very unsafe and very dangerous, and nobody said a word. Where was Lorna the Racist? - -  behind the scenes like a phantom, everywhere, obviously telling everyone, not to say a word.

Nor did Lorna the Racist’s chain-of-command reach to the Shawano County Highway Commissioner to come out and harass the people putting on the event and ordering them not to park on the road.  Nobody sent out a highway crew to put up No Parking signs on both sides of the road as they did at the raceway.  Back Stabber Crook wasn’t there trying to intimidate and oppress the event managers by writing down license numbers of the vehicles that parked along the side of the roads.  Nor did he make up bogus laws about giving tickets to parking violators.   It was just Milk at the Mielke, and Racism at the Raceway.  That is how Shawano Justice works. The Racists leave each other alone.

But getting back briefly to the Stars of Karting race and the whole issue of discrimination. It is high time to call a spade a  spade.  The bottom line here is that Lorna Marquardt is consumed with RACIAL PREJUDICE against Dr. Roy, the president of SIST.  Lorna is a Racist, because she doesn’t like Dr. Roy’s ethnic background, culture, or the color of the Doctor’s skin.  She has a terminal disease, and that disease is causing her to do destructive things to Shawano’s economy. 

Look, for example, at the economic impact when USA International Raceway hosts the Snap-On Stars of Karting race each year.  This one race alone brings tremendous revenue to Shawano and Shawano County.  The beneficial effects of this race are vast.  For example, the car rental places at the Green Bay airport were sold out.  The United States Customs Department kept calling to the raceway to verify what racers were coming or not.  Hundreds of racers and their teams came here from around the world, those whose first language was not English.  There wasn’t a motel room within 40 miles of Shawano for a week before the Stars race. 

In fact, the president of the Stars of Karting stated that any Stars’ race will bring in approximately $750,000 in revenue to the local economy.  And as you students of Economic 101 know, that for every outside dollar that comes into a local economy that dollar will turn over or multiply seven times.  As a result, the net effect of that $750,000 will be about $5.25 million dollars spilling over into the local economy. When has Shawano ever had an event that brought in that kind of money?  The answer is “Never.”  Not only the Stars’ race benefits Shawano County, but the AMA Supermoto Race brings in almost that much, to say nothing of the other regional races that happen every weekend from April to November at the raceway. And Lorna the Racist, afflicted with her disease, is trying to kill all this good.  Remember Lorna the Racist at the polls the next time you vote.

SIST has already spent over three million dollars on the raceway, and they will keep spending money until the facility is complete.  And who benefits?  Shawano and Shawano County benefit - -  the motels, restaurants, gas stations, retail stores, repair shops, places of entertainment. In the middle of all this, irrespective of what Lorna the Racist and the Evil Leader Racists are doing to try to destroy Dr. Roy, SIST is determined to keep spending money until the raceway facility is complete.  They also have the enduring confidence that good will eventually prevail over evil, and eventually good people will replace the bad people in places of authority. 

Therefore, to hasten that glorious day, let’s all thank our red-haired southern beauty Lorna the Racist for joining together with her three, flea-ridden cheerleaders at the Evil Leader,  Racist Rod Christensen, the publisher, Racist Kent Tempus, the editor, and Racist Tim Ryan, that great reporter of truth.  Through your rumors, lies, stories, fabrications, you must be congratulated on a job well done. You have been very successful in hurting Dr. Roy and SIST economically by creating a web site with a honey wagon full of bad publicity about the Doctor as only organized Racists can.

So when you see Lorna the Racist or one of her three, hairy Racist Cheerleaders on the street, be sure to greet them with a hearty “Hi, Racist Lorna,” or “Hi, Racist Rod,” or “Hi, Racist Kent,” or “Hi, Racist Tim.”  Thank you for being such good examples for Shawano and hurting the town economically just because you don’t like somebody who has a different color skin.  Remember that our great nation was built by people like you, dedicated to the truth that our forefathers penned into our Constitution, that all men are created equal.  We, the people of Shawano, truly do salute you.  Praise thee, thou great Lorna the Racist, and pass the bananas.